Saturday, October 30, 2010

READER QUERY #3 - Timothy's Magical Legacy

This week on Seeking the Write Life I'm featuring advice from successful agents AND a website that just might kickstart your publishing career.  But until then, here's the last of our reader queries to round up the week.  As always, any feedback in the comments please, and email me your details if you'd like to correspond directly with the Author.


Seven year old Timothy unknowingly holds the key to an ancient magical legacy. This is the story of a young boy neglected by his step father and is rescued by a group of very special friends.



The boy awoke with a start. His cold slight body ached as he shifted his position on the stark cellar floor. What had awoken him?....

Timothy's mother had died suddenly less than a year ago leaving her husband Larry, Timothy's step-father, to care for him. Larry was intent of getting rid of Timothy by having him put into a Childrens home so he could steal Timothy's inheretence. Timothy's Grandmother, who is his only living blood relative, is unaware of Larry's plans and it becomes the task of a group of cats who understand the legacy to rescue Timothy from his living nightmare.

Will they make it before it's too late? Will they make the humans understand the legacy that has been passed down and one that rests on Timothy's little shoulders.

Timothy's Magical Legacy is a young reader chapter book of 21000 words


Thursday, October 28, 2010

READER QUERY #2 - Livian. A Fairy's Tale

Please leave your feedback in the comments so the author can find it easily.

If you want to be in touch with the author directly, please email me. I'm happy to pass your details on so they can contact you if they wish.

I've got room for one more reader letter, if you're interested, email me.

Dear Agent,

Livian has been hunted ever since her birth without her hunter knowing of her existance. Her parents were brutally murdered soon after she was born by the evil army of unicorns possessed by the corrupted mind of Belial. Created within the forbidden love of a warrior fairy and a royal elf, cross-breeding has left the young girl without the wings or powers of either parent. She is held in secret by her only caretaker, her fairy grandfather, Inennious.

Hidden deep within the uncharted wood, they live away from all tribes as the child remains the most fragile being of creation. Her only links into the outside world are Elsa, the aging fairy that visits them, whom carries an endless torch for the elder Inennious, and the majestic dragons hidden within a cave near them that also fear their existence becoming knowledge of Belial's possession.

This is the journey of one special child's battle. The battle of self discovery, belonging, betrayal, grief, strength, and above all, faith.

I am seeking representation for my 73,450 word YA dark fantasy novel, “Livian. A Fairy's Tale” a book that gnarls the previous conceptions of fairies, elves, unicorns, as well as dragons and creates a world of warriors against blood thirsty armies as the balance of good versus evil breaks the scales. This is the first book of a plotted possible series.

I have ventured into the world of journalism, where I mainly covered the genre of stories showcasing good fighting through a world of evil, such as one man going completely green in his life as no one around wanted to be bothered with the hassle, or the happiest toddler that I have ever had the pleasure to meet, as he struggles for his life with a smile each day with a rare disease eating away inside of him. Writing is not a career, it is a passion. The greatest joy of being a writer is the reader's attachment. The highlight of many of my days has been a stranger hearing my name and starting a conversation about an article that they clipped and saved or knowing that several reprints had to be done of an issue with my article so that it could be used for information at a fundraiser. I want to give readers the same attachment over this novel as it relates to all of our own inner struggles of faith and belonging.


Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Can You Like It?

We interrupt this fun-filled-feedback fest to fulfill shameless self-promotion duties (say that ten times fast!):

Ladies and gents, I've got an agent (otherwise known as My Fairy Godmother - or "MFG").  MFG is already working on a miracle for me - and as you're probably aware, in the publishing industry that means I need to start making the most of social media. 

You can help by clicking on the "Like" button to the right of this post if you're on Facebook, and / or the 'follow' link further down the menu.  In the event I obtain a contract, I'll be using this blog and that facebook page to give readers insider information about my writing and publishing journey (and the occasional, off-topic funny). 

And if you don't already, feel free to follow me on Twitter.

I promise no spamming, just lots of succinct info on a debut author's publishing ride!

Thanks for being instrumental in helping me Seek the Write Life!


Monday, October 25, 2010

Reader Query #1 - A Safe Place in Hell

Fasten your seatbelts - and offer feedback in the comments! 
(I'm also looking for 2-3 more submissions,  If you're interested, email me)

I'm going to give each Author a tag. But if you want to be in touch with them, please email me your details.  I'm happy to pass it on to the author so they can contact you if they wish.

Now... go to it!  What can AUTHOR#1 do to improve the hook and query letter below?


There is no safe place for Eddie after he makes the mistake of shooting a vindictive militia captain. But he isn’t sure he can survive in a world where the temperature is never below one hundred and justice is decided by the one with a bigger gun. 



The alarm Eddie Watson woke to could signal any number of things: the air conditioner overheated, a computer malfunction, another storm—problems he could fix. But it was the worst, the worst of the worst: people were breaking into his house. Why they’d mess with a small place in the foothills of the Rocky Mountains he didn’t know, but only Marauders are stupid enough to be out stealing in one hundred twenty degree heat. And that belief is what could get Eddie killed.

Had his father not been taken up to Canada by the government, he could have stopped Eddie. He would have realized the men were too organized and too well-trained to be desert dwellers. He would have stopped Eddie from firing on soldiers sent by the militia that just seized power, and maybe Captain Logan wouldn’t be demanding his head on a pike.

Eddie isn’t a fighter. He grows plants and fixes motorcycles. Running is his only option.
To his relief, he doesn’t have to go alone. Plenty of friends (specifically, adult friends) decide to go with him, helping him fight off the soldiers sent to apprehend him.

Unfortunately, his escape further vexes Logan. Demoted and humiliated at his failure to secure the land he oversaw, he wants to bring Eddie back and prove his competence. As the hunt goes on, first east and then south, he realizes obtaining Eddie won’t fix his career. Nothing will. And all he has left is revenge.

All this under the glare of an unforgiving sun. For Eddie, freedom is South America. And the price is every person he calls “friend.”

A SAFE PLACE IN HELL is a 76,000 word dystopian/YA novel. Thank you for taking the time to look at my submission. The full manuscript is available on request and I am submitting it to other agents at this time.


Rules of engagement:  Let's keep comments constructive - i.e. offer encouragement as well as helpful advice or gently identify areas for concern.  Derogatory comments will be deleted.

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Choose Your Words Carefully - YOUR QUERY HERE

Get Involved and Tell Your Friends

SPREAD THE WORD:  While I'm working on collecting more information from the Wonderfully Pubbed (or WP's as I like to call them), I'm going to offer a chance for YOU to put your draft submission materials (hooks, queries or single-page synopsis if you're really keen) on the site for feedback.

It's Not As Scary As it Sounds

Check out the feedback I got on my first query draft, and my second draft.  I also got people to help with feedback on my 'hook' first draft and subsequent drafts.

I found the process really helpful - not to mention successful... but more on that soon.

Even if you aren't finished your book, you can start thinking about a good query - the longer you have to redraft, the better!  So let's take what we've learned from the Winning Queries Series and put it into action.

And don't forget to come back and offer feedback on other's letters.  Fresh eyes are a valuable tool.

Keen?  Comment here or email me at with the material you'd like to have reviewed.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

YOUR TURN: Write the Winning Query with Helen Lowe (HarperCollins)

Helen Lowe is a NZ based speculative fiction author. Her first novel Thornspell (Knopf, 2008) won the Sir Julius Vogel Award for “Best Novel: Young Adult” 2009. Helen's second novel, The Heir of Night (The Wall of Night, Book One) is now on sale in the USA/Canada and Australia/New Zealand and will launch in the UK in March 2011.

You can find Helen at and follow her publishing journey and appearances at

Helen is represented by (*insert drum roll here*) Robin Rue at Writer's House. They've collaborated to give us what they believe is the key advice every author should take prior to sending a query letter and generously agreed to let me share it with you:

"...The four tips, which basically reflect the process I followed are:

1) Do some research to find out who out there represents/publishes work similar to yours. I did this by using the internet and looking at who represented authors whose work I considered to be broadly "of like kind" to mine. Robin suggests that another good place to look can be the Acknowledgments sections in published books, where very often an author will acknowledge their agent and publisher.

2) Once you have identified a likely agent/publisher go to their website and check out their submission guidelines. (Look under FAQ if you cannot see a section titled "Submission Guidelines".) Read those guidelines and follow them to the letter. Robin adds: "Try to send to a specific agent rather than a "group" mailing, as well."

3) Be professional and businesslike. (Repeat formula as often as required.)

4) Always be polite.

…Although I cannot provide the exact letter, that is exactly what I did to get taken on by Robin at Writers House Literary Agency."

Thank you so much Helen. I look forward to following the Wall of Night series!

So there it is folks! Examples and advice from people who've had real success. Before we wind up this series altogether, I'm personally going to offer one more tip:

Don't let yourself believe you're the exception to the rule.

It's easy to get impatient, or tell yourself those-in-the-know are being pedantic, but don't fall into that trap. If you've got a story to tell, give it the best possible chance of seeing daylight by following advice and emulating those who've already had success.

And before you go, drop in on the post beneath this one to tell us what you’d like to see next on Seeking the Write life – “Real Editor Tips and Tricks”, “Reader Feedback on Reader Queries”, “YOUR IDEA HERE”?

See you in the comments,


Wednesday, October 20, 2010

What Do You Want To Read Next?

The Winning Queries Series is uber-popular and I've had lots of great feedback - thanks very much to those who took the time to email, tweet and comment.

We're winding up tomorrow with advice from internationally published Helen Lowe (HarperCollins) and her agent Robin Rue of  Writer's House... but what then?

What would YOU like to see next on Seeking the Write Life?  What would interest you?  I've been considering:

1.  Your query letter drafts - submitted for feedback and help from other readers.


2.  Most writers go through extensive revisions with their agents and editors prior to publication.  What about a series of tips and tricks from writer's who've been through the process and could help us 'jump the revision line' so to speak?



Comment!  Email me!  Tweet me!  Tell me what you'd like to read.

WINNING QUERY #5 - Deadworld

AKA:  The Query That Wasn't - And Got a Contract Anyway

J.N. Duncan’s debut Deadworld will be released by Kensington Publishing, April 2011. You can find Jim and follow his publishing journey on, or on twitter.

Jim’s story is a study in perseverance. (This is where you take a quick look at the quote underneath the blog title before going any further). Jim claims he can’t write queries for… er… fecal matter – which is why his journey has been a little different.

You can read the entire story in detail on Nathan Bransford’s blog, but I’ll hit the high points:

- After finishing his first draft and researching agents, Jim worked up several drafts of his query, choosing the one he thought best and sent it out – only to be consistently advised the multiple POV switches were jarring.

- Undaunted, Jim REWROTE Deadworld in third person (NB: *Applause!*).

- Another batch of queries, another pick, more rejections.

- And again.

- Still no luck.

But wait. The good news is, Kensington Publishing also received Jim’s submission. And they decided they liked it. Enough to offer a THREE BOOK CONTRACT.

Needless to say, the agents he’d submitted to were quite happy to be hearing from Jim again. Although there was more than one interested party, Jim had formed a good rapport with Nathan Bransford online (through blog comments, that sort of thing). The rest is history.

Because Jim is quite…um…modest regarding his query-writing skills, he suggested I only include the blurb he used when sending the manuscript to Kensington.

So, for your viewing pleasure, I give you The Query That Wasn’t – And Got a Contract Anyway:

Jackie Rutledge is a Chicago FBI agent who walks that fine line between competence and nervous breakdown. When a killer begins bleeding people dry, Jackie’s psychic partner Laurel, tells her to get off the case. The spirit world is involved and they aren’t playing nice. Worse, the prime suspect, one PI Nick Anderson, seems to exude death worse than the local cemetery. Jackie is not a “leave well enough alone” sort of woman however. She hasn’t let a bad guy get away since she was twelve, and this one will be no different. Unless of course, he’s not the killer.

Despite the evidence, Jackie does not get the “killer” vibe from Nick. He’s not at all what he appears. His past goes back far beyond the humanly possible. In fact, nothing about the case makes sense, and the more they dig, the more it seems Laurel was right. They’re dealing with a killer who effortlessly walks between the living and the dead, and she will need Nick’s help to take that step, because facing the dead is where Jackie’s competence ends and the breakdown begins.

I don’t know about you, but I can’t wait to read it!

We here at Seeking the Write Life (i.e. Me) look forward to all kinds of launch festivities next year!

Tune in tomorrow for the big wind up: HarperCollins (international!) author Helen Lowe, along with her agent Robin Rue of Writer’s House offer the four foundations for writing a winning query!

See you in the comments!

Sunday, October 17, 2010

WINNING QUERY #4 - Whispertown

Author extraordinaire, L.R. Giles (the 'L' stands for Lamar) used this query to garner interest from several agents (!!!) eventually deciding on Jamie Weiss Chilton from Andrea Brown Literary. (Just in case you're wondering, Publisher's Marketplace puts ABL currently in the number one position for YA dealmakers).

WHISPERTOWN is being peddled right now - no doubt we'll hear about a deal very soon, so keep up to date with his journey on or follow Lamar on twitter.

Lamar says a good query takes time:

"...It took me 3 weeks and 20 drafts to get to what you see below, and even after that I found myself tweaking a word here or there while I researched the right agents to query. I took another month to research agents and compile a proper list before I clicked send. It wasn’t good enough for me to get just any agent. I wanted an agent with editorial experience because I like feedback..."

He chose Jamie at ABL not just because they're top notch, but also because "...Jamie has incredible editorial experience and a proven track record as an agent, and our personalities clicked. Signing with her felt more like making a new friend than a business contact. All the pieces just fell into place."

After a month of edits, the manuscript is on the road. Best of luck Lamar! Let us know when you've nabbed that publisher so we can celebrate with you!

Now for the QUERY:

Dear ,

Nick Pearson is pretending to be someone he isn’t. Not high school pretending. Witness Protection pretending. And the #1 rule is “stay low-key”. But, when his sole friend Eli dies in the school’s journalism room under mysterious circumstances, and Nick stumbles upon the conspiracy Eli planned on exposing, staying low-key takes a backseat to staying alive.

Newspaper Nerd Eli had a secret, an in-the-works story codenamed “Whispertown”. And it’s got a lot of folks interested. Like corrupt cops, the town’s shady mayor, and certain high-ranking government officials. Teaming with Eli’s estranged (and gorgeous) sister, Nick sets out to unravel the mystery and still maintain his cover. He’ll have to use all the deviant skills he’s gained from his racketeering dad, assassin godfather, and their Serbian gangster boss to find the truth. However, each clue brings him closer to answers he may not want. Whispertown is bigger than he could have ever imagined, and in its shadow stands a killer…a killer Nick fears may be his own father.

I’m seeking representation for my 70,000 word YA novel Whispertown, a book about high school, heartbreak, and hit men. My fantasy novel The Darkness Kept was a Top 10 finalist in the 2009 Tor UK and SciFi Now “War of the Words” competition. I am a recipient of the 2006-2007 Virginia Commission for the Arts Fiction Fellowship (a $5000 cash award). And, I’m a three-time contributor to the Dark Dreams anthology series edited by author Brandon Massey for Kensington Publishing (Dark Dreams, 2004; Voices from the Other Side, 2006; Whispers in the Night, 2007). I have a lot of stories to tell and I just need the chance to put them where they belong…in front of readers.

Per your submission guidelines, I’ve included the first five pages of WHISPERTOWN for your review. Thank you for your time and consideration. I hope you find that we are a good match for each other.


So there it is!

READER QUESTION: Are you patient, willing to draft and re-draft your queries? Or do you want to move things ahead a little faster, trusting the story to speak for itself?

Help Kids Read

Check out the bookends lit blog and send any books (especially Spanish language) that you can spare - and note what some are doing in the comments.  A great way to help if you don't have children's books laying around!

Friday, October 15, 2010

WINNING QUERY #3 - This Hippogryph Can't Fly

Christie Bailey used her query to jump straight to the publisher - and got picked up by an independent house! She's now finishing up editing revisions for a 2011 release date. (NB: Go Christie!)
Because it went straight to the publisher, Christie's submission included draft teaser, blurb, outline and excerpt.

And it worked.

You can meet Christie on twitter and follow her publishing journey at - check out her new cover art!

Now for the query:

Dear Editor,

Meet Ray, a senior in high school with a sour tongue and a secret crush on her best friend, August. Besides the fact that her natural form has a beak, wings, and hooves – and besides the fact that her crush is a gargoyle – Ray is a pretty normal teenager. She has all of the usual adolescent problems (pop quizzes, nerdy classmates, a curfew) plus a few unique ones. How many normal teens worry about learning to fly? One Thursday afternoon, a typical after-school lunch with August and their vampire friend, Jean, turns into a weekend long of secret stalkers, zombie pets, car chases, gargoyle dogfights – and missed homework. When her friends need her most, Ray must learn to take charge, spread her wings, and fly.

I began writing this novella shortly after graduating high school. I was my college newspaper's copy editor at the time, and the layout designer and I decided to join National Novel Writing Month together for fun and for a challenge. This story began as a quirky idea for that contest, and was finished as a gift for a dear friend.

For your consideration, I have attached the first four chapters of Hippogryphs. Below, you will find teasers, a short excerpt, and a full story outline.

I hope you enjoy reading my story, as I have enjoyed writing it. Thank you for your time and consideration.


Christie Bailey

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Winning Query #2 - Point Blank

Today's winning query comes from Nancy O'Berry.  Point Blank is currently being peddled to publishers in New York (NB: I'm sure you'll join me in wishing Nancy all the best of luck in that process).  You can find out more about Nancy and Point Blank at her website, or tweet her

Nancy knew her book was 'niche' market and approached her query appropriately.  Here's her explanation:

"...Its probably not your standard letter, but because my work is set in the American west and considered a hard sell I felt I had to really sell the emotion of the Texas Rangers...I used the query letter in the Writers Market as a guideline. However I threw out many suggestions and really wrote from the heart keeping the story outline more like a blurb. After the signature, I did include what I planned on writing for the next four books. I wanted them to know I wasn't a flash in the pan."


Our American heritage is filled with amazing people, none that captures the imagination more than the men of the Texas Rangers. They helped tame a lawless frontier and went from mortality to mythology when they pinned that silver and gold badge upon their chest. The Texas Ranger website states it so passionately; a ranger is law officer who can “…handle any given situation without instructions from his commanding officer or a higher authority…”. So it is that my hero, Tyrone Calhoun Dixon is bound by honor and the brotherhood under the star, all for the glory of Texas .

In POINT BLANK, Captain Tyrone Dixon, a Texas Ranger, is on the trail of Frank Prentiss, a small time crook working for a gambler named Yellow Jack Anderson. Prentiss is the prime suspect in the killing of Judge Ambrose Lambert from Balscome, and the theft of signed land deeds. Tyrone trails Frank to Cold Creek, where in the middle of a downpour, he finds Lily Prentiss, Frank’s wife, bathing his body for burial. Keeping his identity a secret, Tyrone agrees to help Lily get the ranch back on its feet. A Ranger wouldn’t leave a widow stranded besides, she is his only lead at this point.

However, problems arise when Tyrone’s heart takes over control of his actions. When he falls from her roof and nearly lands in her arms, Ty finds his badge is not enough of a shield for his heart. Slowly, as much as he wants to resist, Tyrone Dixon is falling in love with the Widow Prentiss. Slipping into town, hoping to put some distance between himself and Lily, Tyrone finds some well-crafted forged deeds in Yellow Jack’s desk drawer. He begins to put the crumbs together and realizes that Frank was only the front man for Yellow Jack’s schemes. Now he has to catch Anderson before Tyrone finds Lily or himself in the crosshairs of Yellow Jack’s deadly aim.

POINT BLANK is a western romance set in the 1870’s, in mythical Cold Creek , Texas . It weaves the tale of love, double cross, and redemption as big as the state itself. POINT BLANK is 88,061 words and 429 pages in length. While it is a stand-alone work, I envision doing at least three other tales involving Tyrone’s fellow Rangers, Sergeant Joaquin Balboa de Montanna, Private Lance Reese and Major Joshua Reynolds.

I am a member of RWA, Hearts through History, Chesapeake Romance Writers. As you can see, I am still just beginning my career in writing.

I plan on writing until the stories stop flowing. When this series is complete, I’d like to work on other Americana stories staying within the years 1800 to 1890, perhaps, working on an American Regency set in San Francisco , but my first priority is to complete these four novels.

I am enclosing a full manuscript as per your instructions on your submission page. I look forward to hearing from you. Thank you in advance for taking your time to read this letter and my manuscript.

Kindest regards,

Nancy O'Berry
QUESTION:  Do you have a story that needs a unique approach?  How will you target your query letter to give your story the best chance possible? 

Monday, October 11, 2010

WINNING QUERY #1 - Captive Magic

NOTE FROM THE BLOGGER:  This is the first in a series of posts about queries which were successful in nabbing an agent.  I'd love to hear your thoughts and questions (I'm happy to ask the authors if questions are specific), but lets keep our observations positive. 

Whatever you might think about the letters in this series, the reality is, they worked!  Maybe that's because of amazing query writing.  Maybe they reached just the right person at the right time.  Probably it's the solid story they represent.  Regardless, these are people who have achieved what I'm aiming for, so my hat goes off to them.  Derogatory comments will be deleted.

The first 'winning' query comes from Elle Stone who is repped by the esteemed Rebecca Strauss at McIntosh and Otis. You can find Elle here and here

You'll also find an interview with Elle here.

Now, without further ado...The Query

Dear Agent:

Growing up in an enchanted museum should be heaven. For Violet, it’s a prison sentence. She’s done with charms, spells, and all that magical nonsense. She wants a normal life in the outside world and will do close to anything to break free.

When her latest escape scheme collapses, Violet’s left in the rubble with Oriel--a green-eyed sorcerer on the hunt for a lost charm. His love spell entrances Violet long enough for him to override her judgment and wake a host of imprisoned statues. Now Violet has to baby-sit a pack of freed royals while she combats the creatures loosed into the corridors. A tiger stalks her footsteps, an unknown force opens doors that can’t be opened, and a plague goddess infects her world’s foundations.

As friends disappear and charms rampage, Violet will have to overcome dark magic--and her own murky past--to survive. It’s her against all comers, and magic demands sacrifice. Is Violet willing to surrender her dream of life outside to protect the home she despises?

Captive Magic was completed as my thesis in the MFA in popular fiction program at Seton Hill University. The completed manuscript is 66k words targeted to a teen YA audience--a mix of Night At The Museum and the quirky magic of Harry Potter.

Thank you for your time & consideration.


Elle Stone

READER QUESTION:  Do you have a successful query letter you'd be willing to share?  Please email me, tweet me, or note your intended generosity in the comments and I'll contact you!

Friday, October 8, 2010

Slaying the Mythical Beast

Do you have an agent or a book contract?

Would you be willing to share your 'winning' query letter?  Or your 'How My Ninja Submission Skills Nabbed Me an Agent / Publisher' story? (Names & details redacted, of course).

I want to make a collection for those of us still on the journey to read, study and covet.

Can you help?  Comment here or tweet me.

Sunday, October 3, 2010

On the Trail to Pro-Motion

The first draft took three months.  The subsequent revisions, critiques and editing took another twelve.  Now GOOD MONSTERS is almost done. 

I say "almost" because these stupid, ridiculous, mind-bendingly crucial promo / query materials are doing my head in.  Can you help? 

Please feel free to comment or tweet me with brutally honest feedback.  I need to get this right:

Current "Hook" options:

1. Branded a schizophrenic, seventeen-year-old Dani is about to learn her delusions are actually second sight. The guys pursuing her know she’s destined to lead the world, and the people they answer to expect her allegiance – or else. Dani must decide if she's willing to die for the truth - or live with herself if she doesn't.

2. Seventeen-year-old Dani Hayes finds out her ‘delusions’ are actually second sight, the hottest guys in school have supernatural armies behind them, and everyone expects her to lead the world to their truth and thus avert the apocalypse. Dani is forced to choose a side - when either could mean death for herself or the man she loves.

3. Dani sees things, and knows things no-one told her. She’s about to discover her ‘gifts’ are real, supernatural armies gather behind the hottest guys in her school, and both sides of the war expect her to avert the apocalypse. Dani must decide if she's willing to die for the truth - or live with herself if she doesn't.

Current Query:

Seventeen-year-old schizophrenic Sheridan “Dani” Hayes arrives at the prestigious Saint Matthews Preparatory High School with one goal: Appear normal. That is, until the two hottest guys in school start vying for her attention.

Confused by their interest and suspicious of their motives, Dani’s digging uncovers what her new friends already know: Dani's delusions are actually second sight. She’s the prophesied Seer. Her admirers stand on opposing sides of a supernatural war, sparring for her heart because they know whichever way she goes, the world will follow.

With superhuman armies gathering in the shadows and the threat of an apocalypse resting squarely on her shoulders, Dani must decide whether she'll die for the truth – or be able to live with herself if she doesn’t.

GOOD MONSTERS is a YA Urban Fantasy, complete at 75,000 words. It is the first of three books following Dani Hayes as she comes to terms with first-love and her own unique purpose – in the middle of the eternal battle between good and evil.

I have included [pages / content as per agent submission guidelines] for your consideration. May I send you the entire manuscript?

Thank you for your time,

Aimee L. Salter

Friday, October 1, 2010

Query, I Name Thee Nemesis

Still working hard to get this query nailed. 
Brutally honest thoughts / advice greatly appreciated - in comments, or tweet me.
(UPDATE NOTE:  Changes may have been made since comments were posted)


Seventeen-year-old schizophrenic Sheridan “Dani” Hayes arrives at the prestigious Saint Matthews Preparatory High School with one goal: Appear normal. That is, until the two hottest guys in school start vying for her attention.

Confused by their interest and suspicious of their motives, Dani’s digging uncovers what her new friends already know: Dani's delusions are actually second sight. She’s the prophesied Seer, anticipated since Creation. Her admirers stand on opposing sides of a supernatural war, sparring for her heart because they know whichever way she goes, the world will follow.

With superhuman armies gathering in the shadows and the threat of an apocalypse resting squarely on her shoulders, Dani must decide whether she’ll die for the truth – or live with herself if she doesn’t.

GOOD MONSTERS is a YA Urban Fantasy, complete at 76,000 words. It is the first of three books following Dani Hayes as she comes to terms with love and her own unique purpose – in the middle of the eternal battle between good and evil.

I have attached [pages / content as per agent submission guidelines] for your consideration. May I send you the entire manuscript?

Thank you for your time,

Aimee L. Salter

This Hook Line Won't Sink Me

A big THANK YOU to everyone who's been kind enough to offer comment on previous drafts (which can be viewed here).  Your advice and thoughts have resulted in this new attempt... any feedback welcomed!

V 1.2

Branded 'schizophrenic', seventeen-year-old Dani is about to learn her delusions are actually second sight. She’s the prophesised Seer, anticipated since Creation.  The guys pursuing her know she’s destined to lead the world – and the people they answer to expect her allegiance.  Or else.

Ultimately, Dani must choose between truth and power – when either could mean death for herself, or the man she loves.