There are moments in life that loom in the crosshairs - leaving you breathless with anticipation. Will I hit? Is my aim off? Instead of the bullseye, am I tracking for the mediocre alternative?
Sometimes the fear of failing overcomes the hope of success. Sometimes it feels safer to drop your bow, step back, pretend there is no target. I'm just fine right here, thanks.
I know that feeling. I lived there for a long time.
You see, in my late teens I took a shot at the publishing bullseye and missed the target completely. A single failure convinced me it wasn't worth trying anymore.
But then, almost nine years ago, I pulled my metaphorical crossbow out of the figurative attic where it had been collecting dust. I'd begun to hope again. And dream two very big dreams.
Last week, after several false starts, a few obstacles and a couple failures, the first of those dreams came true: My family has traveled half the globe and returned to Oregon. We're now living just a few miles from a bunch of the extended family, and a morning's drive from my parents. My son has been hanging out with his great-grandfather. And I'm cooking in my late grandmother's kitchen.
The first of my two big dreams has finally come true, and I've taken some big steps on the path to the second.
Last September I signed with an amazing agent. Brittany has already gotten my book in front of some big editors.
And now, we wait...
After all the years I've already been waiting, this last hurdle is hard to be patient about. It's hard to stand still, staring down the barrel at the thing I want, knowing I might take a shot and miss.
But if the last nine years have taught me anything, it's that failure only comes from lowering my weapon. When I keep my eye on the sight and keep pressing forward even when my arms are shaking, dreams can come true.
So, today I'm thanking God, because I'm one target down. Only one to go.
I didn't get the bullseye first time. So I made another arrow and I'm lining up to shoot again.
I'll let you know if I hit.
Your turn: What keeps you going, working towards your goals, even when it's really hard?
Sounds like you have the right attitude. Patience is not always easy to master.ReplyDelete
Ain't that the truth!Delete
Keep strong Aimee. I can't imagine how exciting and painful this stage is. *sends kittens and cupcakes* We are rooting for you!ReplyDelete
Thank you! Seriously :)Delete
Hang in there, Aimee! It's frustrating, isn't it? This writing gig is all about waiting and hoping and dreaming, but I love your analogy of preparing another arrow. Hugs!ReplyDelete
Hugs to you too, Martina. Thanks for all your encouragement today!Delete
I'm an Indie walking the proverbial rope all by myself with no nets to catch me. One, the small amount of peeps who have bought and read Secondhand Shoes helps to keep going. They loved the book and at least once I week I get an email telling me so.ReplyDelete
Not to mention, there are a lot of stories inside me to write.
Hang in there. Things do get bright after a bleak period.
Hugs and chocolate,
You aren't alone! Hugs and chocolate back at you. Keep in touch and let us know how the indie-process goes for you!Delete
It's stories that this that keep me inspired-knowing other writers have struggled as much as I and it all paid off in the end. It's inspiring to hear your story!ReplyDelete
Thanks, Sara. I wrote this because I needed to remind myself of all the wonderful things that HAVE happened. Sometimes they get lost in anticipation of the ultimate goal. I'm sure the journey will pay off for you too.Delete
This is so true, Aimee! Thanks for the reminder that the only real failure is giving up. I'm so glad you achieved your first dream, and my fingers are crossed for your second... which I don't think is that far away :)ReplyDelete
Uh ... this might sound funnym but my twelve year old cat keeps me going. She's quite talkative for a domestic shorthair, and tells me lots of "stories." I see my writing as a way of (sort of) talking back to her. I've even started writing in my journal from a cat's point of view. Who knows what will come of it>ReplyDelete