I'm really enjoying the writer's crusade and finding some neat writer blogs (watch out for some new links in the sidebar soon). This week there's a competition going for the best blog post that includes: one secret, one lie, one interesting quirk, one annoying habit, one of your best character traits, and one of your favourite things in the whole world. It must also include the random words, “bloviate,” “fuliguline,” “rabbit,” and “blade”.
So here's my shot. And yes, it's more bad poetry. So sue me.
I’m common as mud, though prettier than it.
I sing like a bird, and type like a rabbit:
In excess of hundred (that’s words per minute).
Writing “flow” is more like a “hail” when I’m innit.
You’re thinking I bloviate? Boast? Maybe brag?
Careful! I know words like ‘slapper’ and ‘slag’.
See, when you’re born in New York, but raised in Downunder
It’s easy to use the wrong word – a “cuss blunder”.
But cussing’s a blade I try not to pull.
Not so a debate – I heart verbal duel!
To ease stress I bite nails (to my husband's ire)
But it could be worse – I could be a liar.
I will pose a secret if you promise not to say:
Sometimes, only rarely, in my dreams I’m gay.
My love is a blanket, my temper a fire.
(I won’t tell you what thing springs to mind for desire).
That’s pretty much me in the wordcount allowed,
Except for a couple small points for the crowd:
I’m red in the head – fuliguline, if you will.
And one point above is utter swill.
How did I do? Which part is 'utter swill' do you think?
(Added 2/20/2011 as per comment: "Utter Swill" is my birthplace. Definitely NOT New York. Re your guesses: I can sing, though I suppose 'like a bird' is subjective. I did take Operatic lessons at college for a couple of semesters. And I'm old enough to have been taught to type at high school. On an actual typewriter. Then spent years in administration. Now I write - at length. When last computer tested: Copy-type / dictation=90+ wpm, free-type=100+)
So here's my shot. And yes, it's more bad poetry. So sue me.
All About Me
In 300 Words or Less
By Aimee L. Salter
I’m common as mud, though prettier than it.
I sing like a bird, and type like a rabbit:
In excess of hundred (that’s words per minute).
Writing “flow” is more like a “hail” when I’m innit.
You’re thinking I bloviate? Boast? Maybe brag?
Careful! I know words like ‘slapper’ and ‘slag’.
See, when you’re born in New York, but raised in Downunder
It’s easy to use the wrong word – a “cuss blunder”.
But cussing’s a blade I try not to pull.
Not so a debate – I heart verbal duel!
To ease stress I bite nails (to my husband's ire)
But it could be worse – I could be a liar.
I will pose a secret if you promise not to say:
Sometimes, only rarely, in my dreams I’m gay.
My love is a blanket, my temper a fire.
(I won’t tell you what thing springs to mind for desire).
That’s pretty much me in the wordcount allowed,
Except for a couple small points for the crowd:
I’m red in the head – fuliguline, if you will.
And one point above is utter swill.
How did I do? Which part is 'utter swill' do you think?
(Added 2/20/2011 as per comment: "Utter Swill" is my birthplace. Definitely NOT New York. Re your guesses: I can sing, though I suppose 'like a bird' is subjective. I did take Operatic lessons at college for a couple of semesters. And I'm old enough to have been taught to type at high school. On an actual typewriter. Then spent years in administration. Now I write - at length. When last computer tested: Copy-type / dictation=90+ wpm, free-type=100+)
You were not born in New York? That's my guess- love the poem!
ReplyDeleteHi Aimee, nice to meet you. Loved your poem. I think the little fib is about the cussing.
ReplyDeleteI don't know you at all, but I'm going to guess that the lie is the statement about you trying not to cuss :D
ReplyDeleteNicely done, Aimee.
ReplyDeleteNice to meet you...
Hopping over from the crusade list to introduce myself and follow.
As for your swill .... hmmmm... what could it be? You are not common...
Michael
I like your poem...but what does bloviate mean? Was I supposed to look this up or is this a word that I should know and feel dumb for not knowing it?
ReplyDeleteHa! I don't know about the others Michael, but I had to look it up. That and Fuliguline...which I'm not even sure I got right in the end.
ReplyDelete"Bloviate" means to brag, blow your own horn, that sort of thing.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI don't think you can sing :) It was that or the typing speed of over a hundred words a minute :D
ReplyDeleteGreat poem! Hmm, how about the part where your 'temper a fire' ? ;-)
ReplyDeleteWowzer! Nice poem. I'm impressed.
ReplyDeleteThe lie--maybe you type 100 words or more? (If that's not a lie, then wow. Again, I'm impressed).
Oh, neat! I can't do this sort of poem at all. I'm guessing the cussing line is not true. ; ) Good to meet you1
ReplyDeletenice use of the words!
ReplyDeleteMy guess on your 'swill' is the hundred words per minute.
I'm not going to lie, I don't think you can type over one hundred words per minute. I've grown up around technology and I can still only type around eighty words per minute. . . Hehe, but good poem! I've got to start thinking about my entry. Of course, I have to follow all 216 blogs first. ;)
ReplyDeleteI liked it.
ReplyDeleteThe lie could be singing like a bird or dreaming you're gay.
I seriously wish I could write poetry! LOL Not a strong suit for me. Just thought I'd stop by and say hello to a fellow crusader! I'm excited to get to know you better! :)
ReplyDeleteIt's pretty great that everyone is putting so much into their answers although I am surprised at how much poetry there is! So I will guess that your lie is that your temper is not "like a fire"-- but it's tough, isn't it? I have no real clue!
ReplyDeleteI think the lie is singing like a bird. Don't think they sing very pretty. Great poem, it was perfectly humorous!
ReplyDeleteHi Aimee,
ReplyDeleteI think I ended up a crusader thanks to a post by you on twitter :)
I think that the lie is the typing speed :)
Excellent poem... hmm I'm gonna guess the typing like a rabbit is the fib.
ReplyDeleteHello fellow crusader! I love your poem. I haven't written my challenge yet, but I'm enjoying reading the others I've run across.
ReplyDeleteMy guess is that you do not type like a rabbit.
Great poem!
ReplyDeleteIt's interesting that so many people are doing the challenge in verses. :D
My guess is you don't sing like a bird.
Ha, ha! That is gorgeous! And this line really made we laugh: Sometimes, only rarely, in my dreams I’m gay.
ReplyDeleteI'm guessing you don't type that fast... And if you do I'm jealous!
xx Rachel
Oh, I have no idea what the lie is. Love this, though. I’m a fellow crusader and thought I’d stop by to say HEY! Great blog! I’m your newest follower. You can find me at www.christinebryant.blogspot.com .
ReplyDeleteHey fellow crusader, I'm making the rounds and seeing more and more challenge posts. Yours is the best so far! I'm your newest follower, and I will definitely be back.
ReplyDeleteI love how you udes blade. I'm thinking you don't type that fast.
ReplyDeleteThanks for all the lovely comments!
ReplyDelete"Utter Swill" is my birthplace. Definitely NOT New York.
Re your guesses: I can sing, though I suppose 'like a bird' is subjective. I did take Operatic lessons in college for a couple of semesters.
I'm old enough to have been taught to type at high school - on an actual typewriter. I spent years working in administration. Now I write. When last computer tested: Copy-type / dictation=90+ wpm, free-type=100+
Don't hate me because I'm uber-fast.
Great to meet all the crusaders!!!
AWESOME! I enjoyed this!
ReplyDeleteFellow crusader... just stopping by to say hi!
This rules ... I'm going to guess that you actually do cuss, swear, deviate from the King's English, etc. At least I hope you do, because it won't make me feel so bad about my own bad habits. ;0)
ReplyDeleteEJW
This is GREAT! The lie is blended very well and my guess is you don't sing like a bird. You can prove me wrong by doing a singing vlog lol!
ReplyDeleteI have no idea which is the lie! I'm a fellow crusader and new follower - nice to meet you!
ReplyDeleteFellow Crusader droppin' by.
ReplyDeleteNice poetic entry. :)
Excellent poetry!
ReplyDeleteI'm going with cussing. If you have the heart to debate then you're steamy enough to cuss from time to time. I love a good debate so I hope that's not the lie.
Happy Crusading!
New York is not the Pacific Northwest! :D
ReplyDeleteHello fellow crusader!
I hope you don't bite your nails Aimee. Is that 'the lie'?
ReplyDeleteYou're welcome to join the collective writing experiment I'm running in March:
http://tinyurl.com/4zd7or7
Chenoa
Nice poem. I give up on guessing the lie.
ReplyDeleteFellow crusdaer just poping by to say 'Hi'. The lie is very well hidden.
ReplyDelete