Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Draft Query Letter

Dear (NAME)

Sheridan “Dani” Hayes arrives at the prestigious Saint Matthews Preparatory High School with only one plan: Appear normal. But ‘normal’ can be tricky when you see things no-one else can see, and know things no-one told you.

Formerly shunned by her peers, when Dani is adopted by Saint Matthews’ most elite, it seems too good to be true. Especially when the incredible Carl Morgan can’t keep his eyes off her and resident adonis, Adam Wallace, spars with Carl for Dani’s attention.

Confused by their interest and suspicious of their motives, Dani investigates. She learns her new admirers stand on opposite sides of a supernatural war, vying for her heart because they know wherever she goes, the world will follow. Dani is the prophesied Seer, anticipated since Creation.

Now, as everything she thought was real turns out to be illusion and the craziest parts of her life are proved true, Dani is forced to make a choice.

But the line between right and wrong blurs when either choice could mean death for herself, or the man she loves.

GOOD MONSTERS is a Young Adult / Urban Fantasy, complete at 80,000 words and free of any cursing or sexual content. It is the first of three books following Dani Hayes as she comes to terms with love and her own unique purpose – in the middle of the eternal battle between good and evil.

I have attached [pages / content as per agent submission guidelines] for your consideration. May I send you the entire manuscript?

Kind regards,

Aimee L. Salter

Thoughts friends?


  1. No problem, Kathryn. Always trawling for other writers i can learn from!

  2. I enjoy your comments on my blog! And I hope you enjoy Catching Fire!

  3. O-M-G! First of all, your story sounds A-MAY-ZING! Just from reading that query, I wish I was an agent!! Its so well-written, your query. Perfectly tame without being indirect. You drop just enough hints to keep the reader of your query interested and you leave us BEGGING for more.

    At least, that's the effect you had on me! Congrats! I think it'll definitely sell! :-)

  4. Wow, thanks Adam. That's awesome. I appreciate your compliments. Happy to hear ways it could be better though - it's heading out the door soon!

  5. That's quite good! My last name is Sheridan! (Well, maiden name...) The only note I have is to omit "and free of any cursing or sexual content". If you're submitting to a Christian agency, it's already implied; if not, then it won't matter anyway. Sex and curse words does not a good book make!

    Well done!


  6. Thanks Kat - and nice name! :) I'll give it some thought. I'm headed for mainstream at this point and thought it might be worth identifying it since it's important to me as a writer... thoughts?

  7. I gotcha - it's just not something that has much relevance to the story, and therefore, the query, at this point. That could possibly be discussed later with an agent, as something you could put in your "brand" (for lack of a better word), but definitely your call. Seriously - that was the only issue I saw with the query. :)