tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2622477097361465.post7817185508686269368..comments2024-03-10T00:27:43.883-08:00Comments on <center>Aimee L. Salter</center>: First 500 Critiques: THE FALL OF THE KINGS by Raewyn HewittAimeeLSalterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17763596557256341788noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2622477097361465.post-44092351956142048212012-07-07T23:51:25.662-07:002012-07-07T23:51:25.662-07:00A big thank you to Aimee and everyone who commente...A big thank you to Aimee and everyone who commented for taking the time to read my first 500 words. I really appreciated your critique and comments!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15380202410896276712noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2622477097361465.post-28468646716856214132012-07-07T11:25:09.474-07:002012-07-07T11:25:09.474-07:00I really enjoyed the opening 500 words of this fan...I really enjoyed the opening 500 words of this fantasy and agree wholeheartedly with the critique. Well done, Raewyn and Aimee. :)Jolyse Barnetthttp://jolysebarnett.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2622477097361465.post-85438874570751878642012-07-07T03:56:54.469-07:002012-07-07T03:56:54.469-07:00I really enjoyed these first 500 words and now I w...I really enjoyed these first 500 words and now I want to read more! I agree with Aimee's comments about the main character's gender and the dialogue's attribution. I was a bit confused at first myself. Other than that the writing is smooth and elegant, and this opening makes you want to read on, which is exactly what it should do :)EM Castellanhttp://emcastellan.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2622477097361465.post-47677401627360800312012-07-07T00:52:19.110-07:002012-07-07T00:52:19.110-07:00I was initially confused about the character's...I was initially confused about the character's gender too, but other than that, found the piece compelling and easy to read. <br /><br />Good on you, Raewyn, for being brave and putting your work out there for feedback! :-)Cally Jacksonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08313803959936813426noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2622477097361465.post-80866228165916775592012-07-06T09:49:20.483-07:002012-07-06T09:49:20.483-07:00Great sample. I was initially confused about the c...Great sample. I was initially confused about the character's gender (guess I automatically assumed the POV character was female because of the first sentence). Fixing that should be easy, though, and I wouldn't change anything else. Can't wait till this is ready, I would definitely get it. :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2622477097361465.post-6127444518544108442012-07-06T07:40:53.802-07:002012-07-06T07:40:53.802-07:00Great first 500 words! I really want to find out w...Great first 500 words! I really want to find out what happens next--this sounds right up my alley. :) I agree with Aimee that the first paragraph is vague as to male or female POV. I was confused. But for what it's worth, I had no problem following the conversation that followed. Anyway, this is a great beginning, and I look forward to reading your book in its entirety someday! :)Melodyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08846251713093236356noreply@blogger.com